The more people strive to feel happy, the less happy they tend to be. They explain this through a cybernetic model, which considers a person’s state as part of a dynamic system. The model can lead to a few problems, including the tendency to feel disappointed when positive experiences don’t meet high expectations. This disappointment can actually diminish the happiness one would have experienced without such expectations.

Zerwas and Ford suggest that pursuing happiness can create a self-perpetuating cycle of disappointment. When individuals set their emotional goal to “sublime happiness,” they may become overly critical of their experiences, leading to a sense of disappointment even when things are going well. This can ultimately undermine their overall happiness. By understanding this paradox, individuals can learn to approach happiness in a more balanced and realistic way, focusing on the present moment rather than constantly striving for an unattainable ideal.

 
In The News:

Proven Ways to Be a Happier Person | Psychology Today

As we embrace our responsibility to take a more balanced approach to feel more content, we gain the powerful realization that we can create our own happiness. To do so, we need to learn from both positive and negative experiences, which will lead us on a more sustainable path to genuine …

Over my 30 years as a psychologist, I have seen that happy people tend to surround themselves with positivity. They seek out uplifting relationships, engage in activities that bring them joy, and consciously avoid negativity.



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