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Reference: See here

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

I think it’s ok to let him know about both your needs and the stakes: He needs to step up and parent your kids not only so you get the breaks and recharging time you need, but also for his own sake, and the sake of his relationships with you and with them. Otherwise, he will miss out on opportunities to know and be close to them, they won’t grow up knowing that they can depend on him the way they depend on you, and your exhaustion and resentment will inevitably increase.

You could turn your phone off, or you could just tell him not to call you unless it’s a true emergency. If he doesn’t know this stuff already, he should have a list of the kids’ favorite meals and snacks, favorite activities, favorite books and music, tried-and-true distractions, etc. ready to go. Or he can take them out of the house, too, to a park or a friend’s house or wherever—the point is, they do whatever they’re going to do while you peace out for a bit.

Submit your questions to Care and Feeding here . It’s anonymous! (Questions may be edited for publication.)



I’m Nalini

As a life coach, pharmacist, and clinical mental health counseling student, I’m passionate about helping individuals transform their lives, overcome challenges, and achieve their goals. Whether you’re seeking clarity, motivation, or personal growth, you’re in the right place.

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